Someday;

Beginning to feel that it's a rocky start to the year. Time flies, it's already almost mid-Jan. I'll be flying to Cairo in 2 days. And when we return in 3 weeks time, Singapore is going to be a whole new place to be in. Did I mention that I missed the family's reunion dinner the other day as I was working afternoon shift? Had me quite upset, but having the chance to spend some time with my cousins after work that night over games, jokes and blackjack, it made me feel better.

If you're really close to me, you should have known that the relationship I have with my parents is very strained from young. And my extended family from my mom's side, they're the pillar of my life. So to have one family leaving Singapore, it's a huge thing for me. What will happen to those big family holidays now?

Work has been taking up alot of my everyday schedule too. Recently it's confirmed that one staff will be transferred out, probably after CNY. And it'll be someone from my batch. It's upsetting because I wouldn't want anyone from my intake to go. And I wouldn't want to be transferred out as well. If it happens to be me, I wouldn't know how to go about it. Which discipline and which ward will I be thrown into? What about advance diploma if I really wanted to do? How will it affect the future that I've been planning? Everything is so uncertain right now. Hate this feeling of not knowing what's coming up next. So now, I've a million rough plans sketched out for the next 3years. I wouldn't say it here of course. And this always happen when I'm about to go on leave. Same thing happened when I went to NZ and to Europe last year. It suck, I'm telling you.

Love. As much as I say that I don't do relationships, I'd like to be in one, with the one I love. But it was sealed with a final kiss and an "I love you" about 2 weeks back. There wasn't even any goodbye said. Now, I'm missing him much. Why do I have to fall for a globe trotter? Did think of dropping by where he is now, but look, what's the point? And now that so many people around me are getting married, makes me question myself if it's also time for me to settle down with a guy. The answer is no. I've things that I want to do before thinking about marriage if it's even going to happen.

I better shoo myself to bed soon, there's work in 5 hours.